My first blog post in a while! I was asked to write what the background was to Scotland's Happiness Day so here it is ...
Life is
very rarely ever a straight
line; it goes up and down all the time. Happiness gives you resilience to cope
with anything that life throws at you, to bounce back on your feet and make
life better. Happiness creates success
too - everyone benefits when we feel good, positive emotions spread out so we
can create better things for ourselves and others too. If people understand this and know how to go
about it, just think how much better our society could be.
I spent 20 years working as a Human Resources Manager in
various sectors. I have seen so many people struggle with stress, worry, anxiety
and fear. High levels of unhappiness in
a workplace can see co-operation, teamwork, productivity and social interaction
replaced with hostile silos of low morale, increased absence, lack of trust and
reduced work flow. I have seen people be floored by depression, which left them
feeling so low and bleak, unable to express or feel any emotion.
I
wanted to find a way to help people to step out of this negative mindset, to
feel more positive and break free from the negative spiral. My thirst
for personal development has led me to explore topics on everything from
spirituality, the soul, reincarnation, neuroscience, the power of the brain,
quantum universes, emotional intelligence and loads more. I read a lot of
positive psychology books, self help books and learned a variety of alternative
therapies. The real breakthrough came
when I learned NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) - it blew my mind as it
delivers fast results and a whole set of tools to change the mind set.
I decided
to leave my job in HR in 2006 to set up my own business, Stress the Positive,
to help people who were struggling with life find a more positive way to handle
things. I combined my NLP therapy with
my other skills and knowledge, developed some courses and provided one-to-one
therapy sessions. It was all very
exciting and rewarding as the clients I was working with changed their lives
around quickly.
I also taught my
two children, Calum and Kirsten, the techniques that I had learned and their
minds grew, they understood that they could change how they felt. Tragically, in October 2007, just a few weeks
short of his 13th birthday, Calum lost his life to meningitis.
The impact of
Calum’s death shook me to my very core. The grief, depression, panic and
anxiety were overwhelming. I questioned
so many of my values trying to make sense of what had happened, but I vowed
that I would be happy again, that our family would survive this tragedy. I
wanted Calum to be proud of us and to recognise us as the family he knew if he
could see us.
Surviving Grief
After learning all these great techniques and ways to help others
I now found myself having to apply them to my own thoughts. Grief is about as far removed from happiness
as I have ever been; I described my days as black with no motivation to do
anything. I knew that exercise can increase endorphins but as I struggled to
get dressed, going outside seemed beyond me.
This is when I began to use little simple things to lift my mood for a
short while.
Listening to upbeat music, using aromatherapy oils like bergamot
and peppermint, reading inspiring quotes from books like “1001 ways to make you
smile” and looking up to the sky helped to create a chink of light in the
darkness. I began to write letters to
Calum in a journal, pouring out my emotions while feeling a connection with
him. Together with family and friends we
began to raise awareness and funds for the Meningitis Trust. Many people helped with our fundraising
efforts and we were on the receiving end of such kindness from people all over
the world. These acts of kindness were
like a beacon of light in the darkness that allowed some colour and happiness
to enter my world. I was then able to
use even more of my knowledge, disconnecting the trauma and emotion using a
variety of NLP techniques and mindfulness.
Gradually I became happier, friends and family noticed the difference as
I smiled more and even began to laugh again.
Grief does
not just vanish though; I still have days that are difficult but this is only
natural. It is why real life happiness is so important to me. This is not just positive thinking and
pretend everything is wonderful, it is learning what can work, trying new
things and storing the happy energy to help bounce back from the low points. Use good memories to connect with positive
emotions, learn some new skill (I took up quilt making and made a memory
quilt), build strong connections with friends, help other people, watch
something funny to make you laugh, dance in your living room, blow bubbles or whatever
works for you.
The Happiness Club is born.( http://www.meetup.com/The-Happiness-Club)
I learned so much about what helped me feel happier that I wanted
to share that with as many people as possible. The Happiness Club was born
coinciding with the launch of Action for Happiness in April 2011.
Now with over 200 members and 3 locations our meetings can
certainly never be labelled as ‘boring’.
Action for Happiness - 10 Keys to Happier Living created the monthly
themes this year, but this isn’t just about discussion. The focus is to learn
and try out real tools that can help too – members can learn NLP techniques to
change beliefs and let go of negative emotions, practice meditation and
mindfulness, write gratitude journals, learn how colour can affect mood, fill
laughter banks and create feel good tunes and so much more. We invite guest speakers and arrange special
events and workshops. The Happiness Club
is all about empowering people to take control of their own happiness and
encouraging them to make changes in a friendly and supportive atmosphere and
then to spread that happiness further.
Scotland’s Happiness Day – 10th
November 2012 (https://www.facebook.com/ScotlandsHappinessDay101112)
We had World Happy Day in February this year and the Happiness
Club arranged a showing of the movie Happy.
It started me thinking – Scotland should have its own happiness
day. Scots can be seen as bit dour - we
aren’t, we just need a bit of encouragement to enjoy ourselves at times!
Together with some of our loyal Happiness Club members we have
created a fabulous event in Glasgow to encourage and spread more happiness. With inspiring speakers and a great range of
workshops we are taking happiness to the next level. http://scotlandshappinessday.eventbrite.co.uk
If you can’t make it along to the
Glasgow event, there are 3 key ways to boost happiness on Scotland's Happiness
Day.
1.
Get together with
some friends OR make some new ones.
- Get active - take part in some activities that you enjoy.
- Add an act of kindness to your day and see your happiness expand.
You deserve to be happy and can help others
around you be happier too. I choose to believe this and think Calum would be
happy with our efforts. Get active in
happiness seeing someone
smile and feel happy is worth its weight in gold.
For more suggestions on how to feel happier please check out my previous blog posts.
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