Be fabulous start a kindness wave and beat stress

Be kind on National Stress Awareness Day

SO today 6^th November is national stress awareness day.  Are you aware of your stress?  Are you thinking about it, worrying about it and focusing on it?  STOP ! 

I understand the need to highlight the difficulties that stress creates in our life, I know the impact it can have on your physical, mental and emotional wellbeing.  But focusing on the problem creates more of the problem.  What would you like instead of the stress?

What can you do today to shift your thinking, to change how you feel and move towards a happier and more positive life?  Breathe – take some time out and imagine what the difference your life would be like if you felt happier and more positive?  What if you could change how you feel now?

You can – your circumstances are not controllers of you.  You are the controller of you.  You have a choice about what you think and how you react to any situation.  If you choose to focus your thoughts on feeling good for even a few minutes you will feel less stressed.

The quickest way to feel good is to do something for someone else.  Be kind and help another person. It can be the smallest of things – smile, hold a door open, make someone a cup of tea, say hello, there are an infinite number of ways to be kind.  Go on give it a try for today see how many people you can be kind to and then notice what a difference it makes to how you feel.

Your acts of kindness create ripples and you will have a bigger impact that you may ever know.  Go on de stress, be fabulous start a kindness wave today.

Shifting your focus to happiness

There are so many reasons to be miserable - the weather, worries about money, jobs, family.  What you focus on produces your thoughts and how you feel.  If you need a break from feeling low, being worried and anxious then it's time to shift your focus. 

Come and join me on Saturday this week (2nd Nov) and focus on happiness just for a day.  Be in the company of other people who want to feel happy.  Laugh, chat with others, enjoy learning something new, be entertained and energised.   See what a difference it can make to your life.

I know that it won't change your circumstances, but it will help you feel better, feel lighter and happier.  When you feel better - you cope with life differently.  You see solutions. You have energy to do things.  You can take action. 
If you want life to be happier then make one step.  Come and enjoy Scotlands Happiness Day conference with me. 

I created Scotland's Happiness Day to be a day where our energy and focus is on feeling good, sharing that with others and thanking the positive people in our lives.   What could it do for you, your family and your friends? What could this do to Scotland?
I know what a difference it has made to my life. 

If you can't join me there then do something that will boost your happiness and those around you.  For one day put your focus on happiness,  explore what makes you happy. You may get a surprise.  Kim x

Are your kitchen cupboard's in danger?

Are you feeling frazzled? 

Tense, overwhelmed and exhausted? Is your life feeling a bit out of control? It can happen to the best of us - our stress levels can creep up and the slightest wee thing can create an avalanche of emotion. 

If your cupboard doors are in danger of coming off the hinges with all the slamming they get, if your cat runs a mile every time they see you, if you are sick of hearing yourself shouting or crying then it's time for a new approach. 

So here's a quick check - where are your shoulders?  Are they up around your ears or sitting naturally ?  When stress levels rise so do our shoulders!  It's time to take a breather, relax a bit, write the to do list, and start with what you can. Be realistic, if there is too much to do then rope in some help. Learning to control what you can and letting go of what you can't makes such a difference.  It takes practice and a new way of thinking sometimes. 

Your thoughts affect your feelings and this affects what you do.  Are you aware of your thoughts? Probably not it's those feelings or even the actions that we notice first, especially when the cupboard door slams and knocks over the glasses, they break, you scream and the cat runs for cover leaving you a bubbling wreck!  
All change has to start somewhere, keeping doing the same things means you'll get the same results.  But how do you let go of overwhelming stress?  Do you have to start meditating, eating green smoothies, chanting and going off to find yourself in a retreat?  Well these could all help but I reckon they aren't practical for the majority of us.  Small steps  can be the bridge to go from stressed out to happy.   
Look at the big stresses - can you do anything about them?  What is the smallest step you could take right now?  Maybe it's even acknowledging that you need a little help?  

My first small steps involve breathing, cups of tea, a walk, music, some laughter then a list to go through. Once I feel a bit more relaxed the things that stressed me out seem a little more manageable. 
 
Building Bridges to Happiness : Clearing Stress is a great new course that provides solutions from a range of techniques from NLP, Hypnotherapy, Relaxation, Alternative therapies and positive psychology. Learn new ways of thinking and practical ways to feel better.
Spend a relaxing Friday morning with me next week, 8th March and create your own FEEL GOOD FRIDAY.

At ONLY £35 it's much cheaper than new kitchen cupboards!

BOOK NOW http://www.meetup.com/The-Happiness-Club/events/104058332/

THE HAPPINESS CHALLENGE

There has been a lot in the media recently about happiness and how to achieve it. I am a big fan of happiness, everyone I know wants to feel happy. How happy should you be though? There are a load of books, courses and information out there designed to help you to feel happier. If you decide to start on the happiness crusade then what is your measure of success - can you be happy 24/7? If you aren't are you a failure?

I have started this blog to explore my happiness, what impacts on how I feel and to share my experiences. Life is a rollercoaster, you have highs and lows - the trick is to live it, cope with the lows, find ways to make you feel better and then enjoy the good times. I am going to share what works for me and give you some tips to try. I'd also like to hear from you - if you have something that helps you feel happier then pass it on. I intend to be honest about my frustrations, upsets and low points and about how I get over them. I also want to share the highs, what has inspired me and lifted my spirits. This is true life not the glossy 24/7 Happiness promise.

I would like to point out that I am not a Guru, I have studied lots of interesting theories, read loads of books, attended various courses and even got qualifications from some of them. I have lived and experienced some really happy moments and also suffered terrible tragedy. What I know is that life presents lots of challenges, and how we think and react to them influences our levels of happiness. I also believe that we can change how we think and react, learn how to use the good times as fuel to build resilience to cope with the lows.

My Story so far...
I'd like to share my story with you. I am 44, married to Sinclair for 23 years and I have 2 children. Kirsten who is 11 and heading to secondary school this year and Calum who lost his life to meningitis on 12th October 2007 aged 12.
My life changed for ever on that day, all the plans, hopes and dreams that I had for our future disappeared. For those that knew me before Calum's death I think they would have said I was a happy person, talkative, always on the go, trying new things, learning new things - an optimist. I had started my own business in 2006, leaving a well paid HR managers role to take the plunge into the world of managing emotions, stress and depression in particular. Now less than a year later I was plunged into a world of darkness. I think people thought I had gone mad in the days following Calum's death when I would tell people that we would be happy again. I set it as a mission for us as a family, I owed it to Calum - he was such a happy lad. I didn't really know how I would do it back in 2007, didn't know how I could claw my way out of the terrible bleakness that I felt. Losing a child is every parents worst nightmare, many don't find a way out of the blackness.
What I can say now is that there is no one thing that makes it better. No magical cure that suddenly lifts the dark veil and replaces it with glowing sunlight. There are lots of little things that can make life a bit better, and as the colour gradually came back in to my life I was able to use more things to help. Other people were very kind and that made such a difference - you can read more in David Hamilton's book Why Kindness is Good for You.

What I know is that whatever you use to help to begin with has to be simple. I knew that taking exercise would improve my mood but if I couldn't find the energy to get dressed then getting out was beyond me. I did open some essential oils and find them soothing, I opened a book with positive quotes and I looked up. If you are in the depths of despair even these simple things can help to change your thoughts and outlook.

I also want you to know that I acknowledged my feelings, my very wise GP gave me some advice to let go of the emotions. So I did scream and cry (often in the early days and still do some days) but I also decided to write to Calum. I wrote how I was feeling sometimes the tears smudged the ink, I wrote about what was happening, venting my feelings but also keeping a connection with my much loved son. I still write to Calum today but my journals are generally happier with more positive stories and fewer really low days.

I hope that you will join me on my journey. I want you to have hope that if you are feeling low, stressed, depressed, grieving, anxious or just hacked off that you will be able to change that. Everything changes, nothing stays the same for ever, so the negative thoughts and emotions that can grip us and cause us to hold back or even give up will pass. Try something new, a thought, a hope - a smile and they can pass quicker.

Thank you for reading, I plan to post at least once a week. My happiness meter for now is 7 out of 10. I am happy I have started this project that has been in my mind for a few weeks. I can tick one thing off my to do list and the sense of achievement is good.

Take care, be kind to yourselves and one another.
Kim
x