Looking forward and looking back

When I started writing this blog I promised to be honest about was happening in my life and how I cope with the difficult times.  I wanted people to know that being happy and feeling positive is something that can be achieved even when life isn't great.

I know too that focusing on the positive side doesn't mean that everything in life is wonderful, this blog has been a way for me to explore how my emotions and thoughts impact on me and my family. I hope that by sharing my experiences that it gives you some hope and maybe some tips on how to feel happier.

INSPIRED BY OTHERS
December is an emotional time for me (and for a lot of other people)  Calum's birthday is the 8th December, he would have been 17 this year, (he died just a few weeks shy of his 13th birthday). This year his friends in 6th year at Bishopbriggs Academy chose the Meningitis Trust as the school charity of the year in remembrance of Calum. They decided to hold a Memorial Service to remember him and celebrate their memories of him, they wanted the people in school to know this was not just any charity their fundraising efforts were for their friend.  The video that they made to show at the service is so wonderful, it made me smile and laugh through my tears.  I loved the smiles and light in their eyes as they remembered Calum. So many young people are held up to be neds with no care or interest in others, watch this and see the positive encouraging side to these young folks.Remembering Calum by S6 Bishopbriggs Academy

The school then had a week of fundraising activities culminating in a sponsored sleepover for S6 in the school last week. Calum would have just loved being a part of it and I am so pleased that they had great fun raising money for a very supportive charity.  

Kirsten, my gorgeous daughter, is now 12 and in first year at this school. She has been involved in the fundraising activities with Calum's friends that she also grew up with.  She has loved this but it has also been an emotional journey for her too.

HAPPINESS AND TEARS


So add all this with Christmas, my mum back in hospital again for another op, some worries over work and money and it is not difficult to see how my emotions have been a bit raw.  I have felt really weepy at times, a bit frazzled and low.  Is this allowed for someone who runs Happiness Clubs and wants to inspire Scotland to be happier?


Of course it is! - Not one of us is immune to low times, me included. If I cry I release that emotion, I feel better for it, trying to hold them back just creates more pressure. So what next? I am blessed to have some very good friends and they are so kind and helpful in different ways, acknowledging how I feel with them sharing tears and then laughter really helps.  

So today I feel like I am turning the corner again, I have some inspiration back maybe not quite all my energy yet. Last night I went out with Kirsten to see the School Band perform in Glasgow and caught up with a few friends for a chat.  It was good to laugh with them.

It's times like this that I have to dig into my own Bag of Happiness to find the things that help me.  Essential oils - bergamot and peppermint, uplifting music, remembering that I have achieved so much, immersing myself in some really good memories, looking forward to spending time at Christmas with my family and Boxing day with my very best friend and her lovely family. Focussing on gratitiude creates a feeling of wealth and abundance, I have so much to be grateful for - mostly friends and family.


Life will continue to throw challenges but I know that I can cope, I know that I have learned a lot so far that has helped me and that I will continue to learn.  I also know that sometimes I will forget what I have learned!  We all need to be reminded now and then.  


Looking forward to next year


I think that so many people are living in fear and worry.  I understand it so we are bombarded by the news of how terrible our economy is, how few jobs there are, how dangerous the world is. My response is to increase the number of Happiness Clubs and get others involved to create more happiness and positive energy.  I know that life can be shit - I know that we can't just go into a wee Happiness bubble and it will all go away.
BUT I know that when I can lift my mood, feel happier and more positive then it gives me fuel to energise me.  I can look at the same problems through different eyes and see a solution I didn't before, I can start to believe that things will get better and find ways to help myself and others so that it is better.  

I have developed a new personal development program Happiness in Action that will give you the tools to create more positive thoughts and happiness for youself.  As soon as I have charged my batteries fully then you will hear more about the exciting new options for this program.


As Christmas approaches I send my love to everyone who is missing someone, to those who have worries and concerns, to those whose health could be better, to those that strive for a new job, to anyone without a home. I also send my love to those who are doing well and feeling good, may you share your good feelings with those that need it.  

So December may be emotional - highs and lows just like life really. I learn and grow in the low times then create and reap the benefits in the high times.  You can too.


Merry Christmas
Kim xxxx

Happiness and holidays

Hello my happy friends.
The school holidays are over for a few days as there are only 7 teaching days this month! Hurrah I hear the children (and teachers) cry. We spent the first week of the holidays at our caravan in St Andrews. It was a relaxing break, more so than I had planned as Kirsten was sick. She started throwing up on Mothers Day just after bringing me breakfast in bed. Poor girl was really unwell and had to miss the trip to Mama Mia that was arranged for my mum, sister, Kirsten and I. She then had headaches, a temperature, sore throat and generally feeling rubbish with no energy for rest of the week.
No one likes seeing their child ill but if you have already lost a child to an illness that seemed to nothing more that a flu virus but turned out to be deadly meningitis, then it can be an anxious time. For more info on signs and symptoms of meningitis please check out the Meningitis Trust
I make a conscious effort to keep things in perspective, I am vigilant but not paranoid. I don't want Kirsten to have a trip to the doctor every time she sneezes, I can't wrap her in cotton wool. 2 weeks on and she's still not 100% so it's time to see the doctor now.

Mothers Day

It's a lovely way to thank your mum for all she does for you isn't it? It can be a hard day for so many though, my mother in law was knocked down and killed before Calum was a year old so it's hard for my husband not having his mum here. I have a couple of very close friends who have also lost their mothers, 1 a few years ago and 1 only months. When grief is raw then these special holidays are difficult times. I remember the first mother's`day after Calum died I just went to bed and cried exhausted by the grief and angry that he wasn't there to share the day. Time has made a difference, I made a decision last year to put up a card that Calum made for me alongside the one Kirsten made me. I did the same this year - Kirsten's card changes but Calum's stays the same. I am now able to take a different perspective on Mothers day - it is about celebration. I can give thanks for the time my mother in law was here, having my mum around and also being a mum to my two wonderful children. I choose to look at the positives and remember the good times.

So for all those who may be facing birthdays, anniversaries, special reminders of the people who are no longer with us, I say have hope. I found that the run up to these days were often worse than the actual days themselves. The anticipation of how bad I would feel made me feel bad for longer. As the first and second round of anniversaries passed I was able relax a bit more and spend more time remembering the happy times we shared on those days. I still miss my mother in law and Calum and always will, I know that they would approve of my point of view.

Happiness Club

Last week saw my first Happiness Club event in Glasgow. There were 7 lovely people there, who created their own "Bags of Happiness". We explored what makes us happy and how to use the resources that we all have to cope with the down times. It was a very positive evening and I had great feedback so it will now become a regular monthly club. Each month we will explore an idea (or 2) connected to happiness and try out some practical exercises. It's important to me that these sessions give people tools to use to improve their happiness. It's also a great way to spend an evening, share experiences, laugh and enjoy life so please spread the word. I would love to see the Club grow and expand into other places. If you'd like more info then please post me a message or email me at kim@stressthepositive.co.uk.

And finally for tonight - here is a challenge to you all. Do something nice for someone, be kind to them just because you can. If you know someone is facing a difficult anniversary then acknowledge it. Encourage them talk to you about their loved one, share the happy memories and let them cry if they want to. The person may be gone from sight but not from the heart. Thank you to all my wonderful friends and family who let me share my happy memories.

With love, laughter and kindness
Kim
x