How to stay happy as the weather changes ..

Can the weather affect your mood? 

Many studies and people I know say yes. SAD (seasonally affected disorder) has been recognised by the NHS in the UK, many people say that they experience lower energy, are less sociable, crave carbohydrates, sleep longer and have reduced sex drive. I wonder how many seasons we have in a year as this could describe several friends at least once a month!
But there are also some people who don't like summer and who were really grumpy when the sun shone this year.  Some folks don't like the rain and avoid it all costs.  Don't get me started on what the wind does to us, and not only after too many baked beans!
All sorts of weather can affect us but as Billy Connolly once said " In Scotland, there is no such thing as bad weather - only the wrong clothes."  So what can you do apart from buy yourself a warm coat and some new wellies?

• I recognise that during the dark winter nights it can be more of an effort to go out and be sociable. Spending time with friends is one thing that happy people do so it is worth making the effort to stay connected.  How about planning ahead? Make plans with your friends to meet up once a week, even in each others houses then at least one of you gets to stay home.
• Join a club or class and have some fun learning new skills - the Happiness Club is a great example.
• Adding some physical activity into the mix can boost your mood - doesn't have to be the gym, try dancing or walking. Join a group and you can add extra social time too.
• Laugh more.  Make a choice to look for the funny side in life.  Watch funny programs, films and even read some silly joke books.  Anything to get you chuckling. You could try laughter yoga check out Joyworks who will be at the Happiness Day conference.
• Make time for play. Games, play doh, hobbies and get up to some mischief. It's not just for kids all the happiest people I know enjoy some mischief I reckon it keeps you young.

You can't control the weather so control what you can - make a decision now that you are going to do what you can to feel happier.

Looking forward and looking back

When I started writing this blog I promised to be honest about was happening in my life and how I cope with the difficult times.  I wanted people to know that being happy and feeling positive is something that can be achieved even when life isn't great.

I know too that focusing on the positive side doesn't mean that everything in life is wonderful, this blog has been a way for me to explore how my emotions and thoughts impact on me and my family. I hope that by sharing my experiences that it gives you some hope and maybe some tips on how to feel happier.

INSPIRED BY OTHERS
December is an emotional time for me (and for a lot of other people)  Calum's birthday is the 8th December, he would have been 17 this year, (he died just a few weeks shy of his 13th birthday). This year his friends in 6th year at Bishopbriggs Academy chose the Meningitis Trust as the school charity of the year in remembrance of Calum. They decided to hold a Memorial Service to remember him and celebrate their memories of him, they wanted the people in school to know this was not just any charity their fundraising efforts were for their friend.  The video that they made to show at the service is so wonderful, it made me smile and laugh through my tears.  I loved the smiles and light in their eyes as they remembered Calum. So many young people are held up to be neds with no care or interest in others, watch this and see the positive encouraging side to these young folks.Remembering Calum by S6 Bishopbriggs Academy

The school then had a week of fundraising activities culminating in a sponsored sleepover for S6 in the school last week. Calum would have just loved being a part of it and I am so pleased that they had great fun raising money for a very supportive charity.  

Kirsten, my gorgeous daughter, is now 12 and in first year at this school. She has been involved in the fundraising activities with Calum's friends that she also grew up with.  She has loved this but it has also been an emotional journey for her too.

HAPPINESS AND TEARS


So add all this with Christmas, my mum back in hospital again for another op, some worries over work and money and it is not difficult to see how my emotions have been a bit raw.  I have felt really weepy at times, a bit frazzled and low.  Is this allowed for someone who runs Happiness Clubs and wants to inspire Scotland to be happier?


Of course it is! - Not one of us is immune to low times, me included. If I cry I release that emotion, I feel better for it, trying to hold them back just creates more pressure. So what next? I am blessed to have some very good friends and they are so kind and helpful in different ways, acknowledging how I feel with them sharing tears and then laughter really helps.  

So today I feel like I am turning the corner again, I have some inspiration back maybe not quite all my energy yet. Last night I went out with Kirsten to see the School Band perform in Glasgow and caught up with a few friends for a chat.  It was good to laugh with them.

It's times like this that I have to dig into my own Bag of Happiness to find the things that help me.  Essential oils - bergamot and peppermint, uplifting music, remembering that I have achieved so much, immersing myself in some really good memories, looking forward to spending time at Christmas with my family and Boxing day with my very best friend and her lovely family. Focussing on gratitiude creates a feeling of wealth and abundance, I have so much to be grateful for - mostly friends and family.


Life will continue to throw challenges but I know that I can cope, I know that I have learned a lot so far that has helped me and that I will continue to learn.  I also know that sometimes I will forget what I have learned!  We all need to be reminded now and then.  


Looking forward to next year


I think that so many people are living in fear and worry.  I understand it so we are bombarded by the news of how terrible our economy is, how few jobs there are, how dangerous the world is. My response is to increase the number of Happiness Clubs and get others involved to create more happiness and positive energy.  I know that life can be shit - I know that we can't just go into a wee Happiness bubble and it will all go away.
BUT I know that when I can lift my mood, feel happier and more positive then it gives me fuel to energise me.  I can look at the same problems through different eyes and see a solution I didn't before, I can start to believe that things will get better and find ways to help myself and others so that it is better.  

I have developed a new personal development program Happiness in Action that will give you the tools to create more positive thoughts and happiness for youself.  As soon as I have charged my batteries fully then you will hear more about the exciting new options for this program.


As Christmas approaches I send my love to everyone who is missing someone, to those who have worries and concerns, to those whose health could be better, to those that strive for a new job, to anyone without a home. I also send my love to those who are doing well and feeling good, may you share your good feelings with those that need it.  

So December may be emotional - highs and lows just like life really. I learn and grow in the low times then create and reap the benefits in the high times.  You can too.


Merry Christmas
Kim xxxx

DON'T WORRY BE HAPPY

So I'm late again - sorry Mrs B thanks for the reminder. At least I know that someone reads this!

WORRY AND STRIFE

The past couple of weeks have passed in a blur, lots of work and lists of things to do that seem to grow rather than shrink. I also had a few sleepless nights worrying about something. We all worry now and then, some people seem to live their lives in a constant state of worry. Over the last week I became aware of how high my shoulders were - right up to my ears! This is not a good look as it goes hand in hand with the frown lines and crabbit face. It's a real indicator of when things are getting too much. I'm sure you'll all know that feeling. So what do I do when I feel like this?

• first I ask myself whether the things I am worried about are within my control
• if they are, then I write a list of what I could do (I like lists- once it's on paper it never seems as much)
• I then prioritise the list - what can I do that will make things a bit easier (doing the hardest thing first is such a relief but not always what I want to do! I remind myself that the sense of relief and achievement is better than procrastination. I'm not perfect though so sometimes I'll just do what gives me a quick boost. A cup of tea usually works.)
• that leaves the things that I was worried about that I can't do anything about. These thoughts are the ones that can cause us real anxiety at times. Talking these issues over with a trusted friend is worth it's weight in gold. I'm very lucky to have wonderful friends to share stuff with. Once the things that concerned me are discussed I feel better, I know that I can't do anything more.

• I like to take a bit of time to then focus on some good memories to lift my mood, shifting my thoughts from the negative ones to positive ones make room for more solutions.
• I use lavender oil or pepermint oil to clear my mind, a few drops on my clothes work well.
  

My daughter, Kirsten is a bit of a worrier, she gets upset about the world, how terrible things happen, what destruction humans do and whether the planet will survive. She worries about school, her friends, burgulars, homework, growing up and whether anyone in the family will get ill. I know that a lot of other children feel the same, they are bomarded with so much information to keep them safe it's no wonder that the world can feel scary. She can struggle to sleep at times. She can be snappy and weepy when it gets too much. Her feelings are no different from mine really.
As her mother, I want Kirsten to be happy I know that she has been through a lot in her 11 years and losing Calum, her big brother and best friend really shook her up. I also know that although I can help her, listen to her, support and guide her - she is responsible for her own happiness. My job as her mother is to get her ready to cope with the world on her own so I get her to use the same tactics that I do. Can she do anything about it? Is it her responsibility? What can she do? Talk over the fears so that she can rationalise them. Then I encourage to her to think of a happy memory or something from her bag of happiness. Kirsten loves crystals so I'll get her to choose a few to hold. This helps to shift the focus to a more positive stance. The worries never seem so bad then.

HAPPINESS WORKSHOPS

I had the pleasure of delivering 2 Happiness Workshops for SHARE, at their annual conference for the housing sector. It was a fabulous day, my workshops "sold out" first which was a great boost of confidence that this is an important issue for people. All the participants made their own Bag of Happiness as I explained some real life easy ways to handle to difficult stuff we all face. I had a lovely audience and had great feedback from people. I hope that they will continue to add to their bag of happiness.

If you would like to come along and learn how to use these ideas for yourself then take a look at my Happiness Club .

PASS ON THE POSITIVE

We all need positive feedback, we all have doubts and crisis of confidence so it was great to have validation of my ideas. Have you told anyone how well they are doing recently? Has someone impressed you, have you had good service from a company or someone just been nice and smiled? Give them some feedback, you'll make their day.

It's Mothers Day this Sunday, we can all thank our mums for their support (even if they are no longer with us). Who else do you know is a good mother? Perhaps they need some positive feedback - it can be a hard job and some recognition of their efforts could really help. Go on pass on some positive words and see someone smile.

My happiness meter has wavered over the last few weeks from 5.5 to 8.5 out of 10. What about you?

Gratitude and Inspiration

Hi folks, I'm sorry that this post took a bit longer than a week.

It's been a busy time in our house recently. I seem to be rushing around, never stopping to catch breath. My husband has been busy writing his new book, and my daughter has been working hard on her school project. It can be so easy to get caught up in being busy, striving to do more, squeeze a little more out of the day. I thrive in the energy of creating new things, but what do you do when you don't have that spark? How do you get yourself going and bring a bit of creativity in to your life?

I don't always have the motivation to get going. When I am stuck in a slump then I take a good look at what I have in my life to be grateful for now. I have a gratitude journal on my phone that I fill in, not every day, but fairly regularly. I was reminded recently about how lucky I am to have family and friends around me, to have people in my life that I can lean on. People that I can turn to for advice or reassurance, people to share my successes with. I know how important my friends and family are to me, how they have been there to support me through my son Calum's death and the grief that can surround me still. I can't imagine being where I am now without the help and support of these wonderful people.

I have come in to contact with some remarkable young people in the last few years and some of their stories are heartbreaking. Some have come to this country to flee terrible horrors and persecution that I can only imagine. They arrived young and alone after long difficult journeys and great sacrifices. Most have no family here, some don't know if they're families are alive or dead. But this is not a sob story - this is a story of inspiration. These very same young people have thrown themselves in to education, learnt our language, come to understand our customs. They are looking forward with a vision of how they would like their lives to be and they are taking steps towards creating it. Some are working,studying in university or thinking about creating their own business. They have taken the opportunities that are available to us all and are motivating themselves. They have done this without a family to support them. Most have built networks of friends and have taken opportunities for help from mentors. They have created their own "family".

Could you imagine yourself alone, in a different country unable to speak the language, not knowing if your family are alive. Now take a moment to think of all the people that you have in your life that you can turn to. Think of how rich your life is. Now if these young people can find a way to create a life for themselves we all can. These young folk that I have met are happy, they are grateful for what they have and for the opportunities offered.

I am inspired by their stories and grateful for the chance to have played a small part in their journeys. Perhaps you could reach out and help someone? Perhaps you have someone to thank?

I'll finish with my favourite quote that I saw written on the wall of an old bookshop in Paris. "Be kind to strangers they could be angels in disguise."

I'd love to hear your comments.

with love
Kim
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